“When we’re hurting, we need to be kind to ourselves. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. For most of us, the default setting of our mind is to be harsh, judgemental, uncaring or self-critical (this is especially likely if you believe that you created your own reality gap). We all know self-criticism doesn’t help us, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. And popular self-help approaches, such as challenging our negative thoughts, or repeating positive affirmations, or practising self-hypnosis, do not work for most of us in the long term; our minds continue to be harsh, judgemental and self-critical. So we need to learn the art of self-compassion: how to hold ourselves kindly and gently. We need to learn how to support and comfort ourselves, and how to handle our painful thoughts and feelings effectively, so they have less impact and influence over our lives.”
Yet another self-help book, but it makes sense.
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This is from Living Well with Pain and Illness by Vidyamala Burch, and can help me sleep at night (sometimes):
‘When you first turn your attention to painful sensations you may be more aware of your resistance than of the pain itself, but you can work with this by gently ‘leaning into’ the resistance with your awareness and using the breath to drop your awareness more deeply into the body. You can breathe in a sense of awareness and breathe out with a sense of letting go. Over time you can learn to adopt a kindly, non-judgmental attitude to the whole of your experience and allow painful sensations simply to be present. You can develop a caring attitude towards your pain – like the natural impulse of a mother to gather a child who has hurt themselves into her arms and hold them tenderly. Even though she can’t remove the child’s pain, her loving response will ease their distress.’
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Physiotherapy and Otago strength and balance exercises, writing, and a little bit of self indulgence.
And reading – a lot.
