This could also apply to those, like me, living with a chronic physical illness. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about why I’m so loath to step (stumble) outside the front door. I’ll do it occasionally, but even the thought of what’s involved is exhausting. Partly because it’s a bit like having a baby or toddler: getting organized, packing nappies, wet wipes, changing mat, bottles (maybe), snacks, etc. Checking the car seat.
On my phone I keep a check list of things I need to remember to bring with me – some are for short outings or day trips, others for if I’m going away for more than a day – a rare occurrence!
It’s not necessarily an exhaustive list.
This is it:
And partly because of the other fears mentioned in the infographic. For ‘feeling scared about having a breakdown’ I would substitute fear of suddenly feeling really ill, which has happened a few times recently, most memorably when Kim took me out for a meal on my last birthday. I couldn’t enjoy the food, I felt sick, dizzy, frightened. Or fear of painful, embarrassing muscular spasms. We visited Margam Park last year and I had a violent, agonizing spasm in my left arm – I screamed so loudly, Kim was going to phone for an ambulance, but luckily it eventually calmed down. If we visit friends, or go out for a meal, I dread having to go to the loo if stairs are involved – I’m so grateful for ground floor toilets! At home, we have stairs, but they’re my stairs, they’re familiar and I can manage them, unless it’s a really bad day. Then I stay in the bedroom.
It’s all too tempting to stay at home, even though it makes me feel low. My world has shrunk, and I don’t like it.
Bloody hell, how depressing. As an antidote, I should try one of these:
I’m not sure I’d find happiness and peace in 5 minutes a day, but it might help!